The Allocation: What a Show! The Allocation: Here We Go!

For those of you too young to get the reference:

Today the 55 players sponsored by the United States, Canadian and Mexican Soccer Federations were allocated to their teams. And there was much tweeting! and wailing! and gnashing of teeth! Woe to the poor souls who are not Portland Thorns! Think kind words for the fans in Boston Kansas City Washington Rochester New Jersey Seattle Chicago OH ALL OF THEM stuck with just seven sickeningly talented players!

You know… I hear in a dark storage closet deep within the NWSL dungeon, they are already engraving “PTFC” on the trophy. Not sure why they’re even bothering to play the games, honestly. Think of the millions of dollars they’d save if they just put the championship rings in the mail now.

Dudes, today was like freakin’ Christmas for me. Well, ok, Christmas for complete strangers in other cities, most of whom I like but have never met. It’s Allocation Day! Second only to the Trade Deadline Day for excitement! We are sowing the seeds of our league, kids, and even though I didn’t get to spread any manure in my local garden, we all saw the little sprigs of our baby league dug into the ground to sprout their roots. Oh sure, the layout is a mess and not many people know when they’re supposed to come by to water the plants, or even where their local gardens are. But it’s a start. And the soil is richer than before.

You’ll be glad to know I’m done with that metaphor.

Fear not, there is much to snark about:

Seattle’s GM lands Hope Solo & Megan Rapinoe and comes across as a bit grumpy that Alex Morgan and Christine Sinclair were paired together in Portland. She should be thrilled! Solo’s not going to have to chug 5-Hour Energy to get herself through dull games against inferior opponents. What a brilliant addition to the most important rivalry in the league. Truthfully, those should be some fantastic games. And if anyone can affix some sort of GPS contraption between Amy Rodriguez’ brain, ankle and a goal, it should be a fun few months in the Pacific Northwest.

Meanwhile, over at the Washington Pride, I mean, Spirit, Ali Krieger will make her long-awaited return after that awful, nasty knee injury last year. Now, keeping in mind my own long personal history with the Washington Freedom teams, even I am excited to see Kriegs back on the pitch. If that organization doesn’t figure out how to leverage Tumblr, well…. they’re doing it wrong, as you kids would say.

Personally, I think all the fun will be in Missouri… Kansas… Missouri… with FC Kansas City. Free from having to defer to Rampone (no disrespect to Christie), Broon is going to take that defense on her back and she and Sess are going to shut some… stuff down up there in MO/KS. Barney might get a little bored.

And who knows, Princess might be able to put up more field goals than the nearby Buffalo Bills.

Today was a day to celebrate. All you fans complaining you didn’t get Alex Morgan on your team? Enough. Your histrionics are premature, immature, and frankly a little insulting. You have a team – a team with US Olympic champions and the cream of the crop from Canada and Mexico. Support them, no matter which butts are on the benches.

So that one day, I can complain that I don’t have Alex Morgan on my team.

7 thoughts on “The Allocation: What a Show! The Allocation: Here We Go!

  1. Thanks for you current snarky installment, complete with Monty Python references. I particularly enjoyed your “history” links. That was a trip down memory lane for a Freedom fan (my condolences to your team). It just happens that I was at all those games!

  2. Pingback: NWSL Allocation & Dispersal « FAME! A Soccer Girl's Blog

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